I have less than two weeks before the move, and it seems my emotions are on hold. I have an understanding of what would be natural to feel – excitement, joy, apprehension, nostalgia, longing, or sorrow at saying goodbye – but none of that is actually registering. I am encouraged by the belief that once I am on the plane, everything will catch up to me. But in the meantime, if I’m asked, “Are you excited?” it’s easier to lie than explain.
Little by little, the to-do list shortens. As stress is relieved, I will have more energy to devote to experiencing emotions. I look forward to it. There is something beautiful and uniquely human about our ability to feel, and being in a time where that ability is disconnected is as awkward as walking on uneven terrain. But I know there are some very deep things happening, and I will be glad to plumb those depths in the weeks to come!